Prepare to launch

Before I talk about the day I want point out that I put on a suit to go to church yesterday and tied a tie with one hand! I would not have thought it possible.

When I was young I took a small thrill when I exceeded expectations to the point of surprising my teachers and earning their admiration. I don't feel the same thing around doctors; not even a little bit.

When I was ushered into a room at Dr, Jurist's office, his nurse looked at my x-rays and immediately gave up an 'Oh wow!' When Dr. Jurist came in a minute later he turned on the viewing lamp for the x-rays and said the same thing, 'Oh wow!' He looked for another minute, then turned to me and said 'This is a spectacular break!'

Note to medical community: even if it looks bad, fake it. Yawn and stretch, and look like you've seen so many of these things just this morning that it is tediously mundane to fix it. Speaking on behalf of medical overachievers everywhere, we don't want heroics, and we especially don't want to be first.

'So how did you do this?' he inquired.
'Skiing,' I replied.
'I'm betting you didn't just fall down', he opined, 'I'm going to guess you did this in the terrain park...'
'Hey, you're pretty good!'
'...probably went off a big jump. Big Air. Yeah, were you catching big air when you did this?'

I was pretty impressed now. 'Yes, I was. But I botched a landing and my weight ended up on my wrist, cushioned by a ski pole.'

Turns out the good doc is a skier himself! He confided that he doesn't do jumps any more due to bad knees. He's even headed to Alta next week. He was kinda excited I was there at Snowbird just two weeks ago.

We now got down to business. It turns out that in this office 'spectacular' isn't necessarily 'bad'. He pointed out that there are lots of pieces, but they are all where they are supposed to be. If it was bad they would be separated out and mixed up.

He asked where I live and I told him, adding that Emerson hospital has my preferred operating room. He responded that his next stop at Emerson is in two weeks, and this really wants to be set right before then. I agreed, and asked what his schedule looked like this afternoon, let's just do it! He smiled and countered with tomorrow. Sold, I know a bargain when I see it!

He explained that it will never be as good as it was. It may hurt once in a while, it might get arthritis as I get older, and the range of motion will not be as good as before. I asked if there was bad news too...

I then made a good case for saving the hand. I explained that I rock climb and needed my hand strength and dexterity. He thought I should be able to do that in less than 6 months, no problem. Excellent.

He had me take off my jacket to take a look. He asked if this was the same cast they put on at the resort. I explained the current two cast system and assured him that I don't need a third. I've figured out the 'cast system' used by orthos, it's how they mark their territory. He looked at this log of ace bandages and casts and decided it would be OK until tomorrow. I could see that he really wanted to put another cast on there.

A couple of phone calls by his able assistants and I'm expected at the hospital tomorrow at 12:45. I am impressed. They sent me over to pre-op at the hospital so they can look at me.

The MetroWest hospital is a bit confusing the first time you go there. I found it just fine, and entered the building under a big sign that says 'MetroWest Hospital'. Once inside, it doesn't look anything like a hospital, not even like a medical building. I stood there confused for a second when a nice lady pulling a cart asked if she could help me. I said I was told to go to pre-op at MetroWest Hospital. She rolled her eyes and said this happens all the time, she didn't know why people thought THIS was the hospital. I helpfully suggested it might have something to do with the huge sign above the door; she considered there might be something to that.

I found my way to pre-op and met a really nice nurse who knew I was coming. She had me fill out a form to verify I am not pregnant. I wonder if this is the new gender equality, they check males for pregnancy so they don't appear to discriminate. Puh-leeze! I handed the form back and asked if that was all.

'No, this is going to take about two hours', she said with a smile.
'You're kidding me, right?'
'No, I'm not,' she said sheepishly, 'didn't they tell you?'

They seemed to have overlooked that small bit of data. Rats.

The first woman I spoke to was incredulous that I wasn't taking pain medication. She was sure I must be. She asked me to rate my pain on a scale of 1 - 10, 10 being excruciating. I told her it really didn't hurt at all at the moment, as long as it isn't moving it is fine. She didn't believe me, and explained it again as you would to a child. I assured her I understood the scale, it just didn't hurt. Finally she just looked at me and said that a break like that really hurts, so she put me down for a 4-5 pain level. OK, we'll go with that. She was really pleasant to speak with, as was everyone I met.

I next met with a nurse and she took my vitals. She said she could see good veins from across the room, no problems with an IV. I didn't know the hospital drill, but I was sitting in a chair in a room for drawing blood; but she told me they didn't need any blood today, which sort of surprised me. We had a good chat about physical therapy, but she made me a little uncomfortable by repeatedly saying things like 'athletes like you'. When I walked back into the waiting room I saw a lot of people in frightful physical condition, so maybe I was the first guy today that actually goes for a run once in a while.

As I understand it, I'll show up tomorrow, they'll take my clothes, knock me out, slit my wrist, jam metal into me, and pump me full of drugs for a day or so; but I'll go home tomorrow night.

I still need to talk to the doctor about being able to resume my career as a concert pianist; or at least that I have ambitions to get high score on Guitar Hero. And if they are putting metal into my bones, maybe they could do something like Wolverine?